Shrink Wrapped
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Demon cat.
With background music. (9sec)

Convo

Her: I just started my period so it won’t be too bad as long as you don’t pound around in there too hard

Me: yeah, I like to pound around

Her: yeah. It’s going to be messy

darksidelawyer:

madshrinkage:

Caption please

PAINT ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR YBOR CITY GIRLS

Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout?Oh I don’t know. Darksidelawyer and  stuff.

darksidelawyer:

madshrinkage:

Caption please

PAINT ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR YBOR CITY GIRLS

Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout?
Oh I don’t know.
Darksidelawyer and stuff.

Caption please

Caption please

Hold the presses

I’ve learned how to and are currently making raspberry martinis.
Can I please keep my man card?

The bread guy and I are at it again. After last week he decorated the outside of my truck with hamburger buns I decided to hide his helpers crotch rocket.

The bread guy and I are at it again. After last week he decorated the outside of my truck with hamburger buns I decided to hide his helpers crotch rocket.

Give give give

Must there always be some organization or charity asking for money every time I go into a grocery store?! I think I will make them start answering a riddle before I donate anything.

Conversation with female friend

Her: I’ve been seeing this guy. He treats me so nice. He’s completely wonderful but I’m not sure if I like him that way.

Me: (beats face against wall)

Man chews lips off kittens face